Warring In The Bedroom

Jaco and I were discussing the principles of a few styles of martial arts that we're familiar with and how the beliefs and practices involved can translate very well to apply to sex - and following on, how we both naturally utilise and apply those practices and beliefs with each other when making love.

Kung Fu - "In Chinese, kung fu can be used in contexts completely unrelated to martial arts, and refers colloquially to any individual accomplishment or skill cultivated through long and hard work".

Aikido - "Aikido is often translated as "the Way of unifying (with) life energy" or as "the Way of harmonious spirit." "


I'm a fairly spiritual person. I try to involve, and be aware of, as many of my senses as possible when I'm doing something. If I look at something, I like to touch it also, and correlate how something feels with how it looks. If practical, I like to smell and taste, wrapping myself in a blanket of perceptions while I strive to know something intimately.

Part of me being like this is a result of my brief dalliance in Chi Aikido many years back. I learned how to extend myself, to not be confined to the physical limits of my body. When I stretch out my hand, my reach isn't limited to the tips of my fingers; it moves beyond, flows through the skin and into whatever it is I touch. I also learned a few breathing techniques and meditations, and how to use those techniques to focus energy. I learned how to visualise that energy and to use it with the flow of my movements.

These are all good principles when concerning the art of fighting; awareness of self and surroundings, efficient distribution of energy, an understanding of your environment - all of which can combine to bring about a deeper understanding of your opponent and a prediction of their movement, actions and reactions.

But the same principles very seamlessly apply to sex.

Consideirng four basic principles common to many schools of martial arts;

1) Aim beyond your target

Regarding fighting, this has a simple translation; when you're throwing a punch, don't aim for the face. Aim beyond the face. You'll hit harder.

Regarding sex, the 'target' could be considered the orgasm. How many people begin having sex with just one goal being aimed for - the climax? Sex is so much more. It's equally about the journey as the destination. Think not of where you're going - think beyond the orgasm, think through it, think regardless of it.

2) A weapon is an extension of the body

In martial arts, students are tought that they don't fight with a weapon; they learn that any weapon they use is an extension of their body, not a separate entity. With this lesson, movements flow more smoothly, have more meaning, feel more natural.

The 'weapon' in sex could be the genitalia. It is very easy to have sex that concentrates on and focuses around stimulation of the sexual organs, forgetting almost that the rest of the body is - or can be - equally as involved and stimulated through the act of love-making. Extend yourself; be aware of every limb, every inch of skin, every touch and every movement.

3) Chi-Sau, or 'sticking hands' - using touch to understand your opponent's body

Chi-Sau is a practice that involves maintaining constant physical contact with your opponents' body as a method of predicting their movement and coming attacks or defenses.

With exactly the same principle used, Chi-Sau can become a means of anticipating your lover's movements and flowing with them. Becoming one entity rather than two separate bodies; a process of intimate learning where each partner anticipates the movements and actions of the other and reacts in tandem, creating a seamless flow of movement.

4) Chi - the focusing of energy through controlled breathing

Focusing Chi before fighting can give a heightened awareness of self, a more direct and focused attack and defense, and a greater conservation of and more effective expenditure of energy.

The implications of Chi in love-making are pretty much the same; a heightened awareness of self and surroundings, a more efficient distribution of energy, a more stimulating and intense experience.



So there you have it. Take your Kung Fu into the bedroom, people.